The Taming of the Shrew

Over the last few days, I've been helping my dad get moved and settled in my house. It's been an easy and fun process.

Perhaps the most entertaining part of the move in process was introducing his female feline to my animals.

First I need to tell you a little about his cat. She is the mafia kingpin, thug, and antichrist of animals. She's insane. She can kill you with her brain. I'm quite sure she plots my death while I sleep, and she is a huge bully of animals and people alike. Meet Goo:

Now I've told y'all several times that Kuzco is evil, and he is. But he can't hold a candle to Goo. Dad brought her in and introduced her to Sid and Kuzco. Both of my cats fled in terror and came slowly back to randomly hiss and/or growl at Goo, who could care less because she is a bad@$$. She would just hiss right back. Soon enough, both of my cats learned their places (below Goo) and life was quiet.

Then I decided to introduce her to Ed. Smiling evilly, I slowly opened my back door to let Ed into the house. He came bounding in and immediately spotted Goo, who noticed him at exactly the same time.

She jumped (I'm really not kidding) 3 feet up and 8 feet backwards hitting a wall in the corner of my living room. She bounced off the wall into a lamp then fell onto a coffee table. Then she smacked into the floor and took off behind one of my couches. We didn't see her for a good 2 hours. We just randomly heard growling and hissing from behind the couch. I'm pretty sure that she was cussing but, since I don't speak cat, I can't tell you for sure.

Goo doesn't run from Ed anymore, but she won't stay in the same room either. She hides in dad's room while Ed's in the house. I'll update y'all if anything new happens in The Taming of the Shrew saga.

On a completely separate note, I have a story for y'all.

Two Tribal Elders (James and Tiffany) recently got married. Tribal Elder Randy drove to Boi's and my house and rode to the wedding with us (about 6 hours away). That car ride was quite a ride.

We started off the trip at 8:30am and me driving. I don't ride well. The trip goes much better for everyone if I just go ahead and drive the whole way. The first 3 hours went by quickly and easily, and the boys even let me listen to my music (which made me REALLY happy).

Boi and I have driven to this destination before so I knew that a long stretch was coming up with no public places to stop. I went ahead and stopped at a gas station to fuel up on gas and goodies as well as use the restroom. While there, I took a couple of Sudafed and downed it with a whole Throwback Mountain Dew.

Back on the road and now the boys have taken the radio over. They force fed me bands such as Dry Kill Logic, Demon Hunter, Kilswitch Engage, and As I Lay Dying. So now I'm hyped up with sugar, Sudafed, and heavy metal. After about an hour and a half, I was insane. At least, I'm pretty sure that's what the boys thought. I was bouncing in my seat with big eyes.

And the reason for the big eyes and bouncing (other than all the stuff I was hyped up on): I had to pee. I mean, I REALLY had to go. So I started looking for places to stop at. Over the next 30 minutes, we passed 3 closed gas stations. Really? Yes really. Other than that, there were just a few houses, a lot of trees, and a few grassy fields (yes I considered the last two as possible last resort options).

I was even thinking about stopping at someone's house.  I was playing the possible conversations in my head.

Me: *ring doorbell* Hello sir/madam. I know this is strange, but I really have to use a restroom and can't find a place to stop. I'll even promise to scrub your toilets clean myself if you will just let me use yours...

Yeah, I couldn't come up with anything that would convince the person I wasn't a total psycho so I decided to just keep driving and hope for the best.

Then God started taunting me. No really! He did!! In one of the empty fields we passed, I saw this:

What!? Really?! I considered buying the port-a-potty for a single use. Then I briefly considered simply stopping and using it without buying it.  I let reason rule me and kept driving. Eventually I did find a bathroom, but it was a really close call.

Track List:
Taylor Swift's new CD: Speak Now