The Covers Hog

Boi is a Covers Hog. He likes to mess up our bed sheets/covers and then pull them all onto him and off of me.

Or he'll mess them all up and, when rearranging, pulls the warm covers off of me and onto him.

Last night I woke up at 3am and Boi had every stitch of the covers (king size mind you). I was shivering and gently repositioned the covers and snuggled up close to Boi...only to discover that he was covered in sweat. Does that strike anyone else as ironic?


Boi says that I take up all the bed. I disagree. I have created, for your viewing pleasure, a few diagrams illustrating my point. I submit into evidence Item A:

As illustrated in picture labeled Item A, there is a post in the middle of the bed. This post divides the bed into two parts. The post is shown in said Item A above in red.

If it pleases the court, I will now submit Item B into evidence:

As shown in Item B, I clearly sleep on side A (my side) of the bed. Boi clearly sleeps on his side (side B). He just takes up more space which is not my fault. Blame it on hormones, blame it on God, but don't blame it on me.

I now submit Item C into evidence if it pleases the court:

I rest my case, Your Honor.

Boi states that I am trying to prejudice y'all with all my fancy pictures. He also says that I'm elaborating this all out of proportions. I disagree. I believe that this is incredibly important and stand by the fact that I clearly stay on my side of the bed. And usually with less covers than he has (silly Covers Hog).