Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I sat down to draw y'all a pretty festive picture and came up with this:

I showed it to Boi and dad. Boi said it was 'really cool'. Kinda of like a stegosaurus with two chicken legs. Dad looked at me like I was a moron.

So I made a new improved better turkey/Thanksgiving picture:

I'm thinking of starting a food fight today. I'll let y'all know how it turns out.

Alice's Restaurant

While watching a Bones rerun tonight I heard a song I liked. Being me, I instantly had Boi look up the singer and find out more about her. The song is 'Bring on the Wonder' by Susan Enan.

While reading her bio, I found that her musical inspiration comes from Woody Guthrie. So I Googled him to also listen to some of his music. At the first lines of 'This Land is Your Land' by Mr. Guthrie, my dad says, "Hey! His son Arlo Guthrie sang 'Alice's Restaurant'. That song was like 30 minutes long."

Well now I was really intrigued. So I pulled up the lyrics to 'Alice's Restaurant' and proceeded to read it out loud to Boi and dad. That sucker took me about 15 minutes to simply read out loud so I absolutely believe that, when sung, it takes 30 minutes. If you haven't ever heard it, you should at least go read the lyrics.

A.D.D. Compilation

After a few days of successfully completing The Mailbox Game, I am no longer too depressed to write so I'm back. Just kidding (although I have indeed been more successful with my night attempts thank you for asking). I've actually been out of town and am back and ready to regale you with more of my adventures.

I had lunch with a friend today and was headed back to my house when I saw something really disturbing. I tried to draw you a picture but can't quite convey what I'm trying to express.

Perhaps the most distressing part for me is that the entire front half of this deer was missing. It was about 5 feet off the road just crumpled there. But what happened to the rest of it!? The only idea I can come up with is that some redneck that hit the poor thing pulled over to hack off the front half, and it is now mounted somewhere in that person's house. They probably ate his spleedilysplooch for dinner. *shudder*


This past weekend Boi, Randy, and I went to Roanoke VA for an early Thanksgiving get together which was scrumdiddlyumptious, I might add. Along the way we saw a flink:

As you can see from my picture, I was partial to the brown and white ones. That doesn't mean that I have anything against the black and white ones...I don't really know where I was going with this so I'll stop now.


So anyway, there we were driving along when I decided that I just had to put on

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and sing it at the top of my lungs. The boys protested profusely to no avail.

Of course at that point I was completely hooked on Disney music for the remainder of the trip, much to the boys dismay. I was happy as a clam.

When we returned home, Randy and I took a quiz on Facebook called 'What is you spirit animal?' I know that those quizzes are dumb, but this one really took the cake. The following was Randy's result:

I mean really? Dolphine? Dolphne? Whoever made this one didn't even stick with the same misspelling. I found my result even funnier though, especially in light of my recent post. I got an 'otter' for my spirit animal.

Speaking of animals, I don't think I ever told y'all how Ed came to live with me. One night my doorbell rang. A neighbor girl stood on my doorstep with the most adorable puppy in her arms. She had found it under her deck and couldn't find the owner. I said that we would keep him for the weekend, and she would put up fliers. I never saw the fliers but about 3 weeks later, a lady showed up looking for a female puppy. I showed her Ed, and she said that wasn't the puppy she was looking for but that he was from the same litter and his name was Gunther. She said that she could tell we had bonded and that we could keep him. Thus Ed/Gunther became a permanent part of our family.

I have drawn several pictures that became 'fails' for posts but would like to share one with you today. It's titled 'Nudist Eyes':

This is what I see whenever I look at the eyes I draw. Now you will too.

Window Shopping

While shopping today, something caught my eye.

*Gasp!*

It was beautiful.

I wanted it.

I needed it.

It was perfect.

What is it, you ask? Why, I have no idea. I think is was some sort of hat and scarf combo. It was mainly the colors that caught my eye. The really sad part is, when I got home and decided to draw this for you guys, I can not for the life of me remember what colors the dang thing was. So I asked Boi. He thinks it was purple and gray. I couldn't make it pretty in the picture with those colors so I pretty much just made it colors that I would like to see in a scarf. So really the above picture is a complete and total lie. But I think it accurately portrays the happy feelings I was having at the time.

When I put it on in the store and turned around, my daddy looked like this:

In answer to your [possible] question: No I didn't buy the scarf/hat thingie.

Wanted: One Baby Otter

While reading memoirsofakorean.blogspot.com, I came across a video clip:

http://emmy.eviltrailmix.com/BABYOTTERROLLING.gif

Now I desperately want a baby otter. So I Googled "buy a baby otter". After some quick and intense research, I no longer want an otter because I don't have access to a river. Not to mention that I probably wouldn't be able to afford 3 pounds of fish per day times the 15 years or so that it would live.  $20/day times life estimate of 5,475 days equals $109,500.00. Not to mention that it is illegal to own an otter in the US so I'd be risking jail time.

*Sigh* I guess I can't have a baby otter.

i gonne rite

i write while drunk. it b ahard. Boy b drukn in bathtub. dad b drunk in kichen, and i sityhere. in liv ingn room. pr4oblems with floor.  wildxd turkey.  yager also. and lots of rum for me. lots. and lots.
mi frends mike and nette and krist are awesomemm. all this time.
boi throwhing up. gotta, go, love u salll.
i really really drukn. but i wanna rite. it s fun but reelly hard. ddaddy tel  me to llay on floor. lov yall fverry muchess.\
bet h



I wrote all of the above while very intoxicated last night and would like to apologize to all of my readers. I'm going to leave it because, well, it's already been read a ton and wrote all over my Facebook that I 'wrotteed a blgo,' and I really really don't feel like writing one right now. Actually I feel like crawling back into my warm bed and dying.

Scattergories + alcohol + friends = tons of fun

The Mailbox Game Fail X2

I'm depressed. I have lost The Mailbox Game two days in a row now. My mail has come at 2pm on-the-dot every day for almost 3 years now. Over the last month, my mail lady has lost her mind. She now comes between 1pm and 6pm. No consistency. I've been dying a little inside each day.

My neighbors start to get home at about 4pm which greatly complicates The Mailbox Game. Two weeks ago, it had gotten to the point where I would only check the mail at 3am. A few days ago, I went back to my day time checking of my mail, and it's not going well.

Yesterday I was caught by my best friend Gabe. Her truck came flying down the road with no time to recover. She immediately called me out on my loss. It was the first time I have ever lost The Mailbox Game.

But I rallied my courage and tried again today. The first try, I had to come quickly back into the house because I could hear a car coming down the road and couldn't risk being spotted. I slammed the door shut and laid low for three hours.

It was a good thing I waited because Ms. Mail Lady didn't come until 3:45pm. I heard her car go by and waited until she was out of sight. I cracked my door and listened for cars....nothing, safe to proceed with caution. I creeped across my yard, eyes darting in all directions. I have a field next to my house that has obscures my view down the road.

I made it all the way to the mailbox before he came in view. A child walking home from school was staring right at me.

I hung my head in shame and trudged back to the house. I may never check the mail again. If I do, I can guarantee you, it will be at 3am.

The Taming of the Shrew

Over the last few days, I've been helping my dad get moved and settled in my house. It's been an easy and fun process.

Perhaps the most entertaining part of the move in process was introducing his female feline to my animals.

First I need to tell you a little about his cat. She is the mafia kingpin, thug, and antichrist of animals. She's insane. She can kill you with her brain. I'm quite sure she plots my death while I sleep, and she is a huge bully of animals and people alike. Meet Goo:

Now I've told y'all several times that Kuzco is evil, and he is. But he can't hold a candle to Goo. Dad brought her in and introduced her to Sid and Kuzco. Both of my cats fled in terror and came slowly back to randomly hiss and/or growl at Goo, who could care less because she is a bad@$$. She would just hiss right back. Soon enough, both of my cats learned their places (below Goo) and life was quiet.

Then I decided to introduce her to Ed. Smiling evilly, I slowly opened my back door to let Ed into the house. He came bounding in and immediately spotted Goo, who noticed him at exactly the same time.

She jumped (I'm really not kidding) 3 feet up and 8 feet backwards hitting a wall in the corner of my living room. She bounced off the wall into a lamp then fell onto a coffee table. Then she smacked into the floor and took off behind one of my couches. We didn't see her for a good 2 hours. We just randomly heard growling and hissing from behind the couch. I'm pretty sure that she was cussing but, since I don't speak cat, I can't tell you for sure.

Goo doesn't run from Ed anymore, but she won't stay in the same room either. She hides in dad's room while Ed's in the house. I'll update y'all if anything new happens in The Taming of the Shrew saga.

On a completely separate note, I have a story for y'all.

Two Tribal Elders (James and Tiffany) recently got married. Tribal Elder Randy drove to Boi's and my house and rode to the wedding with us (about 6 hours away). That car ride was quite a ride.

We started off the trip at 8:30am and me driving. I don't ride well. The trip goes much better for everyone if I just go ahead and drive the whole way. The first 3 hours went by quickly and easily, and the boys even let me listen to my music (which made me REALLY happy).

Boi and I have driven to this destination before so I knew that a long stretch was coming up with no public places to stop. I went ahead and stopped at a gas station to fuel up on gas and goodies as well as use the restroom. While there, I took a couple of Sudafed and downed it with a whole Throwback Mountain Dew.

Back on the road and now the boys have taken the radio over. They force fed me bands such as Dry Kill Logic, Demon Hunter, Kilswitch Engage, and As I Lay Dying. So now I'm hyped up with sugar, Sudafed, and heavy metal. After about an hour and a half, I was insane. At least, I'm pretty sure that's what the boys thought. I was bouncing in my seat with big eyes.

And the reason for the big eyes and bouncing (other than all the stuff I was hyped up on): I had to pee. I mean, I REALLY had to go. So I started looking for places to stop at. Over the next 30 minutes, we passed 3 closed gas stations. Really? Yes really. Other than that, there were just a few houses, a lot of trees, and a few grassy fields (yes I considered the last two as possible last resort options).

I was even thinking about stopping at someone's house.  I was playing the possible conversations in my head.

Me: *ring doorbell* Hello sir/madam. I know this is strange, but I really have to use a restroom and can't find a place to stop. I'll even promise to scrub your toilets clean myself if you will just let me use yours...

Yeah, I couldn't come up with anything that would convince the person I wasn't a total psycho so I decided to just keep driving and hope for the best.

Then God started taunting me. No really! He did!! In one of the empty fields we passed, I saw this:

What!? Really?! I considered buying the port-a-potty for a single use. Then I briefly considered simply stopping and using it without buying it.  I let reason rule me and kept driving. Eventually I did find a bathroom, but it was a really close call.

Track List:
Taylor Swift's new CD: Speak Now

The Tribe: Introduction Continued

As promised, here are my introductions to the remaining two Tribe members.

First, I give you Randy. He is most likely to [successfully] plan a Tribe trip. He's fairly grounded and is the smart one of the group (no James, this is not up for debate). His favorite color is green. I tried to draw Randy for y'all. I really did. It was just too hard. So I give you my works progression:

 I stopped here to ask Boi if this looked like Randy. He said vehemently no. So I drew this:

 Boi advised me that adding color to the background did not make it look more like Randy. So I tried again.

Okay. There is an explanation for this. I got to trying to draw his hands and kept messing up. At one point, I showed Boi one of my failed tries explaining that his hand kept looking like a freak 5 fingered crustacean. Boi suggested I just draw a claw instead. So I did. And then that made me think of The Little Mermaid...which made me think of King Triton which is why I drew a trident for his other arm. I showed Boi who just shook his head.

So I tried this and Boi reiterated that color doesn't make it better. Last try:

I finally gave up trying to draw Randy. What you see is what you got. I figured it didn't really matter because I throw up pictures of the real person anyway.

So here is a real picture of Randy.
This was taken on the 2010 Tribe Beach trip.
Boi laughed that I chose this picture because Randy [almost] always has on his sunglasses.

Randy and Boi both really like heavy metal. This makes for some really long car rides for me.
We're really glad to have Randy closer to the rest of The Tribe as he has been in the Air Force for the last few years making his visits few and far between.






And last, but certainly not least, our newest Tribe Elder, Tiffany. Her favorite color changes daily and her personality is just as colorful. She's a bright ray of happiness in our group. Plus she puts up with James on a daily basis making her one of my heroes.

She recently married Tribe Elder James as seen in the picture to your left.
That was a great and happy day for The Tribe.
I can't wait to tell you some of those stories.
We give Tiffany a hard time for her 'weird' Yankee accent. It's especially funny hearing her say, "Y'all."













Tiffany is quite the bookworm...especially when it comes to vampire novels. I can count on her to know when all the new books in our series are coming out.
When it comes to Captain Morgan she can out drink us all. I swear she can drink a whole 5th of the good Captain and still be sober.






And that's The Tribe in two quick posts. It has been incredibly hard trying to boil down my friends into short 'definitions' for y'all. But this way you have a general idea about who I'm talking about when I refer to The Tribe.

The following is completely separate having nothing to do with The Tribe. But I wrote it while I was drawing tonight and thought it might make y'all laugh.

I was sitting at the kitchen table drawing. I wasn’t doing a very good job. I kept making Boi look at my picture, and he kept critiquing in a negative connotation.

After several more tries and lots of laughs later, I grew warm. I reached over to the window and let the blinds down and quickly whipped off my shirt. I wiped my pits with said shirt and then threw it over my shoulder. Boi was looking at me with his “that’s not normal” look and I said, “What? I was hot. My belly button is even sweating.” This did not earn me a better look with Boi. If anything, his face grew more concerned. I told him that he's the reason I write my blog. That face he makes lets me know that, even though I think the things I do are normal, I am not at all normal. And it's those unusual stories that I share here.

How I Lost My Mind (today)

So I've been sitting here for a few days. I really wanted to make a fantastic post for you guys. But all I could do was sit and stare endlessly at the blinking cursor. After a while I started to look like:

So I turned on Netflix. Maybe something on there will inspire me. Buffy is always a great inspiration. I've made it all the way to Season 7.

After 3 or 4 episodes, I realise why there is no season 8. I think that the writers started running out of ideas in season 6. Season 7 is full of nothing. The stories are even more ridiculous than the rest of the series. This is not helping.

Things were beginning to get desperate. I really want to please you. Why can't I come up with some funny anecdote?! I've had 26 years of material building up.

What the heck is wrong with me?

Am I developing Alzheimer's?

What if I can never be funny again?

Is my life destined to be boring from here on out?

*Twitch*

*Twitch*Twitch*

I begin to think I'm developing an aneurysm. My mom texts me:

"...I would like for you to send me a text when you can to just let me know you're okay. I had an awful dream about you...Please don't lean back in any chairs..."

So now I'm terrified of sitting down. But I'm too lazy to stay standing up. So I continue to sit here, trying desperately to think of a good story. I'm full of nothing.

But you guys are extremely important to me. So I continued to try my best. I looked through websites that usually inspire me. I looked at funny things. I looked at serious things. Nothing was helping. I began to feel lost. Where was my mind? I need it desperately and it's failing me. So I began to think of horrible things.

Since I haven't written anything in a few days, my readers will quit visiting my site. My friends will lose faith in me. Then they'll stop calling and wanting to hang out with me. Boi will leave because I drove all our friends away. I'll become a reclusive cat lady. My house will constantly smell of feline urine. I'll stop getting out of bed...my cats will be so worried that they'll start bringing me cat food in their mouths. I'll get desperate and start to eat it. Next thing I know, I'll be a cat.

Now I'm hyperventilating.

For my health and well being, I gave up. So I started drawing. You can clearly see what came out of that.

I decided to write this post to go with my pictures so that you can see what you're doing to me. This is all your fault. But I love you anyway.

My Boi

I have been doing what I do best: surfing the internet for useless/interesting information. I was reading the blog: http://baghabit.blogspot.com/ who refers to her man as Mr. Manbag. It got me to thinking about how I call my man Boi (and have done so since we started dating more than 9 years ago) which led me to type it in to google. I just wanted to see what all might come up (maybe even my blog...would've been nice). After reading about the term on several different sites, I started really cracking up. I have included for your entertainment the meaning from urbandictionary.com:

 

Boi:

1. in the lesbian community, a young transgendered/androgynous/masculine person who is biologically female and presents themselves in a young, boyish way; a boidyke; often also identifies as genderqueer.

2. in the gay community, a young gay man;

3. in the BDSM community, someone who presents themselves in a young, boyish way and is usually a bottom/submissive;

4. an alternate spelling of boy often used by young teenage boys.

 

I found #3 to be especially funny. For all who know Boi and I, it is clear who wears the pants in the family (I'll give you a hint: It's not Boi).  Poor Boi. When you read this, dear Boi, I'm sorry. I didn't give you this term of endearment knowing the meaning...but you have to admit, it is pretty funny! I'm thinking maybe I'll change it to MiiBoi as that doesn't bring up anything on google [yet].

 

Below is a picture of Boi tolerating me (and my mad camera skills).

 

 

Ramblings

Hello all! I had a fabulously busy weekend with lots of interesting things that happened. First things first. I haven't forgotten my last two Tribe members. I'm still working to perfect the post. It will come soon. I made y'all a picture:

I spent Saturday evening with friends enjoying the Halloween festivities. I showed up just in time to help make a fire in the fire pit. *evil grin* Oh, how I love me friends! They know me so well. Then I was given the task of lighting candles. To make my mission more interesting, I quickly discarded the lighter that was handed to me and got out some left over sparklers out of my car (I told you, I have everything in my car). I proceeded to light them one at a time in the fire pit and then light the candles.

Sunday we had lunch and an afternoon of games with friends in Dallas NC. During our visit, I received a call from my dad. He is coming to stay with Boi and I for a few months. I'm excited and am sure that this will be in future posts which is why I figured that I will let you know now that someone (other than Boi who is obviously damaged to want this on a permanent basis) is brave enough to live with me for a while.

Fall is my favorite season. I love the cool weather and changing leaves. It always feels to me like a new beginning. I know 'normal' people think of new beginnings in spring but I loath spring. It has lots of bugs and brings about many of my allergies.

Boi and I decided about 3 weeks ago to turn off the heat/air and that this winter we are going to put the heat on 60 degrees or less (our 'low' temperature) and leave it that way for the winter. I wanted to leave the heat off entirely (I thought it would make for some really awesome adventures for future blog posts) but Boi pointed out that he lives here too and would like to have all his phalanges at the end of winter (for those of you *coughJeffcough* who don't like to look up information, phalanges are bones that form the fingers and toes). I didn't tell my dad this information so it will be interesting to see how long it takes him to ask why the heat isn't on (news flash to Boi when you read this: I have decided to see how long we can make it without turning our 'low' temp on...maybe we can make it to the 30s?). I promise to keep you all informed of:
1) How long it takes before my dad asks
2) How low Boi and I can go before we turn on our 'low' temp

On a strange and different note, Ed (the dog) has started trying to 'feed' Kuzco (the cat). Ed takes a mouthful of food to the cat and leaves it on the floor. So I now have dog food pieces all over the kitchen and living room. Every time I clean it up, it reappears, and I have no idea how to stop Ed. Even stranger, now Kuzco is starting to eat dog food even when the cat food bowl is full. I'm starting to think Kuzco thinks he's a dog. To remind you a little of Kuzco, I drew you a picture:

You can also get a refresher on my animulz here.

Update on Fable III game with Boi:  I love it. I have developed my character to have a fire and lightning magic combo that can take out almost all the bad guys at once. It upsets Boi a little because he invested in weapons. I do one quick thing of magic and PRESTO! everyone is dead before he can draw a weapon. So I've started standing back and only killing people when they attack me. It makes me a little sad because then I have less charred bones at my feet when the battle is over...but Boi is worth the sacrifice.