If you need your hair pulled out, I'm your girl

Truthful. Honest. Candid. Bona fide. Straightforward. Veracious. These are all words I would use to describe myself. I've come to think that some people resent me for it, but I don't mind. When you need the honest-to-God kick-in-the-butt blatant truth, I'm your girl. I might not put it politely, sugar-coat it, or put it politically correct, but I will give it to you straight.

When working at The Restoration Company, I was assigned to work with a team. In that team there was a person who really liked to complain. It didn't matter the situation, she would find something to gripe about. We're gonna name her...Griper.

I'm not perfect (not by a LOOOOOOOOONG shot), but I do try to keep my complaints to myself while at work. When I get home, of course, it a completely different matter and Boi always hears all about it!

So on this one particular day, Griper mentioned several times that she had this one particular hair that was driving her crazy. The first couple of times she said it, I sympathized with her.

The next few times she said it, I ignored her.

Then she said it again. I walked over to her and squinted at her and asked, "Oh which hair is it that's buggin you?"

She reached up and held on to one tiiiiiny hair that was swinging free and in her face.

So I reached over and ganked that sucker out. She squealed and threatened my life a few times. I laughed like a maniac and fell down to roll around on the floor gasping for breath.

I just figured that of all the complaining she has done, this was the only thing I could 'fix' for her. So I did.

It might not have been what she wanted or thought was best for herself. But she presented a problem to me so I solved it for her. I gave it to her straight.

So if you need your hair pulled out, I'm your girl.


PS - After the story was relayed to my manager, she told me later that I was probably the only person that Griper liked well enough to let get away with pulling her hair out.

PSS - Griper advised me that she has precious little enough hair and needs them all. I thought that she didn't appreciate that particular one well enough so she didn't deserve to have it anyway.

Kadaver Kitty

I have invented a new character. His name is Kadaver Kitty.

Boi and I were working with a company recently that specializes in fire and flood restoration.

This one particular house was burned pretty bad. We kept finding kitty toys (seriously, I have never seen so many cat toys in my life) and there was a really big cat tower in this house.

As I was shoveling burned debris, I got to thinking. Yes I know that probably scares most of you, as well it should. I wonder if they got the cats out. How horrible would it be to lose a pet that way. Wait, how horrible would it be for me to FIND their cat(s)!?

So out loud I asked my co-workers if they knew if the owners got their cats out. Everyone just kind of looked at each other and shrugged or said that they hoped so.

Let me stop here and say that I know this is a fairly morbid topic. Also, I know that it's not funny to think of some one's pet burning to death. I would like to inform y'all that my way of coping with tragedy is by making jokes...even if those jokes are in somewhat bad taste. Like I said, it's my way of coping. You have been warned.

So anyways, we all started joking about finding the burned corpses of these poor people's cats. Let me just stop and say that now that I'm writing this all out, it sounds perfectly horrible. But at the time it was really funny,and I hope that's how this comes across because that's how I mean to convey it.

With each shovel of charred insulation, melted plastic, burned cat toys, etc, I seriously wondered if I was going to come across these people's cat(s). Well, what if I did? What would I do with it? Do we bury it? Cremate it? That one kind of makes me chuckle because well, that's pretty ironic isn't it? For your body to make it out of a fire mainly in tact and then for someone to cremate you...well that's just down right funny.

I think that a half burned cat would make a fantastic super hero. I started trying to come up with names for my new friend. (These are the sorts of things that get me through a work day....now you're all going to wonder what your co-workers are thinking of while you work with them...just know that there are definitely other people like me out there. If that doesn't scare you, nothing will).

Aha! I've got it! I'll name him, Kadaver Kitty!! He'll go everywhere with me. I think I'll even go home and draw him. Maybe I'll even blog about him. I think I'll get a stuffed kitty and rough him up a bit, set him on fire, put the fire out, and take him everywhere with me from now on. I'll nickname him KK. This is awesome.

With such great ideas floating through my head, I just have to share it with someone. "Kadaver Kitty," I shout. Everyone stops their work to stare at me. Then they all start to crack up. The jokes just flew through the room.

So seriously, I came home and started drawing.  My very first sketch of Kadaver Kitty was:

He's not much to look at but I thought that y'all might want to see the process of how a super hero is born. Looking back I think I like the head of Take One the best.

He obviously needed some work so I started fresh and came up with:

Take Two of KK just kind of looks mildly annoyed to me. However, I love how calmly he sits there while his face and tail are both on fire. I feel seriously like I'm getting somewhere.

Moving on to Take Three:

Boi said that he really likes this one because of how the cat's eyes are on top of his head. I like that he's kind of raggedy looking, and I enjoyed making the burning building in the background.

Take Four:

Oh yeah. I love the black eye and half burned ear. Am I taking things a bit far, I wonder?

Oh well. I think I'll put the missing eye back in. That just seems to have taken things a bit far. Oh what the heck. Guess I'll put the ear back on too.

Take Five:

Well, what can I say. It's still a work in progress. But I seriously think that Kadaver Kitty is here to stay.

I'm also shopping for the perfect stuffed cat to destroy and then call my precious KK.

So what do y'all think? Which one is your favorite and why?

Preparation for the Apocalypse

Okay so do y’all remember my post Guidelines to Surviving the Apocalypse? If not, please read it.

I've decided to make preparations for the Apocalypse. I have taken a major step towards my goal these past few weeks. It's one of the reasons I've been absent in my writing lately.

And the huge step I've taken towards my preparations is...I got a job. Not just any job people. Do you remember this picture from earlier said post?

Yes that's right. I got a job there. I'm not going to reveal the company name (I don't want any lawsuits) but you can narrow down the list. I'll give you some clues:

1. It starts with 'W'.

2. It ends with 'T'.

3. The name is seven letters long.

If you can't guess from the clues I've given you, you're probably from another country (this is the only forgivable reason)...in which case, all you need to know is that it's a large super-store.

I'm working there undercover to do my research. My goals are as follows:

1. My first goal is to go ahead and identify where the roof access is. I've spent the last couple weeks searching to no avail. It's almost as though they knew that I was coming and hid it from me. No matter. I will find it.

2. Make a schematic of the building.

3. Locate all necessary supplies and mark their locations on said schematic.

4. Find out what kind of generators/gas/power would be available in the event of The End.

5. Make a better list of goals.

I've spent my training period gaining their trust. They are beginning to leave me alone more and more often. Which allows me the freedom to do my recon. I'm also honing my ninja skills. It wouldn't do for me to be caught snooping around.

My First Award

I’m so excited! I got my first ever blogger award. Thank you so much caterpillar!
 

 
The award has a few instructions that go with it:
1. First, thank and link back to the person that gave the award.
2. Answer the 10 survey questions
3. Pass the award along to other bloggers whom you think are fantastic.
4. Contact the bloggers you have chosen to let them know about the award







I thought about doing a whole big 'ol long acceptance speech to go with this. I thought about actually filming my acceptance speech. I even considered crying in it. But then I thought that was all too much work and just skipped the whole thing.

1.  If you blog anonymously, are you happy doing this?  If you aren't anonymous, do you wish you started out anonymously, so that you could be anonymous now? 
 
I do not blog anonymously. I’m very torn in answering this question. I kind of wish I did it completely anonymously because I have material that is hilarious…unfortunately the material would be at the expense of friends/family. If my blog was anonymous, no one would know who I was talking about so I’d be okay putting the jokes out there…but because my friends and family read my blog, I’d never dare put anything on it that might hurt one of them.  At the same time, I like that my friends and family read my material. This way they get to read things I’d probably never say out loud. Plus I think some things are funnier with my pictures to illustrate.
 

2.  Describe an incident that shows your inner stubborn side.  
 
I’m completely at a loss here. Me…stubborn? Wha? Boi and I both sat here racking our brains for hours and hours and couldn’t come up with any good examples of me being stubborn. *gigglesnort*
 
3.  What do you see when you really look at yourself in the mirror?  
 
This is horrible question. Is it wanting some deep answer like describing my personality that shines through. Or maybe it’s really just wanting a physical description? Ugh. So here goes: I see brown hair, brown eyes, and wrinkles from someone who laughs a lot.
 
4.  What is your favorite summer cold drink?
 
Ice cold Southern Sweet Tea. There’s nothing else like it in the world. And to me it also means ‘home’.
 

5.  When you take time for yourself, what do you do?

I read. I write. I sing at the top of my lungs. I dance like a fool. I live like there’s no tomorrow. Hm. I think I must make a lot of time for myself. *wink*

6.  Is there something that you still want to accomplish in your life?
 
Oh yes. So very many things, in fact. I want to finish college; although I think first I need to pick (and stick with) one degree. I want to help people and make the world a better place (even if it’s just my little piece of it). I want to have babies with Boi. I would like to travel more. I want to spend more time with my mom. And, of course, grow old with Boi.
 

7.  When you attended school, were you the class clown, the class overachiever, the shy person, or always ditching?  
 
Oh man, I was totally the shy person. Talking to people was so painful it hurt. Everyone who knows me now finds that incredibly hard to believe but I promise you that it’s 100% true.
 

8.  If you close your eyes and want to visualize a very poignant moment in your life, what would you see? 
 
Unfortunately I have many of these and I’d rather not think of any of them so I’m going to skip this question.
 

9.  Is it easy for you to share your true self in your blog, or are you more comfortable writing posts about other people and events? 
 
This blog is absolutely all about me. And my crazy life with Boi. I have no problems sharing myself and putting my life out there. I hope it let’s others know that we’re all unique and weird in our own ways.
 

10.  If you had the choice to sit down and read a book or talk on the phone, which would you do and why? 
 
I would totally read. I can’t stand the phone. I avoid it whenever possible. Talking on the phone makes me incredibly uncomfortable. It’s a reasonable assumption that my dislike of talking on the phone came from a previous job I had as a customer service phone representative for a large company.


Okay. Now that that's done, I'd like to present this award to a couple of bloggers I think are absolutely fantastic:  steammeupkid and steigensmiles.