Traveling 9/19/10

HeyO! I'm traveling today. Waahooo! I started off in Savannah GA and will end in Port Angeles WA. Currently I'm sitting here at good 'ol gate B10 in CLT.  I'm hungry. I want:

but they don't have the restaurant that I want here.
Last night The Boi and I spent the night in a hotel near Savannah GA. It was kind of creepy. I was pretty sure that the shower was going to fall down (with me in it) to the 1st floor (we were on the 2nd floor).

Boi was sure we were gonna die. The door to the hotel room was kinda bent inwards from where it possibly had been kicked in before. I told Boi that it was probably a crack deal gone wrong and that's where the cops busted the door open. I don't think that helped his fears.

I wrote the above on 9/19/10. I wanted to go ahead and post it for y'all. This was followed by the most awesome plane ride ever. I want to do that part justice so it's gonna take a bit. :D I promise more to come!

Dang Tennis Shoes

This ones for you Courtney :D

I'm going on a trip...all the way to Washington (state). I rarely wear tennis shoes because I hate them, and I hate socks. However, WA is a little colder so I figure that I might want to take tennis shoes.

Unfortunately, a cat has chowed down on the laces. Thankfully, I have a spare set.

So I sat down to change them.

Eventually I did get them laced. I won't lie and tell you that both shoes looked the same when I was done though.

PS ~ I'm headed out to start vacation today. I'm going to try to continue to post daily while I"m gone but I'm not making any promises. :P

Rediscovering Paint

Okay so Mike left his computer at work. With the disk to my drawing program in it. Apparently my computer decided to delete some very important files for that program and now it won't work. Grrr.
So I started playing around with Paint. I had kinda forgotten how to use it already. Weird. So today's post is going to have some random pictures to go with it.

Actually, first I'm going to put up one of my very first pictures using Corel Painter Essentials 4 (the program I normally use):

I have no idea why I created this and almost don't even remember making it. I have no idea what I was thinking.

I also have this one that I made earlier:

It's supposed to be a mother holding a baby.

As I was sitting here playing around with paint, I created:

No, I wasn't watching The Food Network...although I was watching Guy Fieri earlier today.

I made this one and asked The Boi if it looked like a snake. He said no, that it looks more like a lizard to him.

Then I tried to be serious and actually make something that I could use with a real post. So I decided to tell y'all about when I was little. When I was young, my family was poor. Never live-out-of-a-cardboard-box poor, but there wasn't always a lot of extra.

One thing that really stands out in my memory is that we made going to the grocery store a 'family outing'. All of my suggestions for our groceries would be declined by my parents (NO! Only chips $1 or less ~ Dad). So I would read while walking down all those isles. I still hate grocery shopping.

So we didn't have cable growing up. We got those basic 4 or 5 channels. Got bless PBS. I grew up with fuzzy puppets (no HD then)

Voila. I made a picture that actual went with a story I intended to tell. I asked Boi if this looked like Cookie Monster and he said, "It's trying to." I know it's sad. But I'm doing my best.

I watched The Boi play his video games while I was doing all of these elaborate drawings. He kept looking more and more sleepy.

Pictures are getting better, right?

He finished the game he was playing (literally, got to the end of it) and kept playing. While he played, I read him the latest post on hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com and made him look at all the pictures. I also made him listen to all kinds of stuff on youtube. You should feel very sad for Boi tonight; because I also made him listen to all the different versions of Little Boxes that I could find.

Last but no least, I'm going to go off on a little tangent. Why does Facebook not stop telling me that I have notifications even after I've checked them?

I can have looked at all my notifications, like, 10 times each and sometimes it still tells me that they are unchecked/unread/whatever. WHY? And for whatever reason, those little red numbers drive me NUTS. I want them gone. Eventually they do go away, but until then, I lose my mind clicking away. It makes me twitch.

Thank God for autosave.

Animals really freak me out when they just stare at me. I'm sure that they are trying to send me messages via their minds but I am just a lowly human and am not telepathic like they are. So I'll never know how sorry Ed was for strewing trash about my house...again.
I would have drawn you pretty pictures so you could see Ed staring me down but my drawing program is not playing nice with me today. In fact, it has it out for me and is trying to blow up my computer from the inside because it hates my drawings. Again, I would draw you a picture but alas, not happening today. I was so mad about that, for awhile today, I wasn't going to write a post at all. But then I got to thinking that...

Right here. Yep. This is when I accidentally hit the back button. Twice. So if not for autosave, you guys wouldn't be able to read the beginning of this post.

Now that I've established that I'm going to actually write a post today, let's continue.
I drew a few pictures in anticipation of today's post so I'll still be able to add those. Let me stop you at this point and let you know that my mother has told me not to write the following. Also, if you don't find poop and tooting funny, please stop reading now.

I'm giving you a chance to change your mind.

You've been warned.

Okay. Now that we've established that you do indeed want to continue, you can't blame me.

When I was young, my mom and I used to tell each other, "I love you more than...[fill in the blank]." For example, "I love you more than the whole universe."

I've continued this in my adult life by telling my husband things like, "I love you more than all the fish in the sea" or "I love you more than every other person alive or dead." You get the point. I have set the stage.

The other day, The Boi and I were laying in bed. I had on my little reading light so the lighting was very dim. I rolled over to face him and said, "Boi, I love you more than that turd that wraps all the way around the toilet."

Sorry the picture didn't get finished. Dumb computer program. It was going to be quite the masterpiece. Oh well.

His face was priceless. He opened his mouth and closed it a few times. Then he said, "Um....thanks?"

Then, of course, I felt like I needed to defend my claim.

Me: You know how impressive those suckers can be. I mean, really! You know cause sometimes I call you to make you look...(his face is telling me that he's not getting how awesome this profession of my love is)...oh, com'on boi! That has only happened to me, like, twice in my WHOLE LIFE! This is a lot of love. I'm just sayin.

Boi: *unconvinced face* Ok. I believe you. I love you too.

We both left the conversation at that. I still don't think that he understands how much love I was trying to convey, but whatever.

I think poop is funny. I think breaking wind is also funny. Especially when it comes from me and smells really bad.

I tooted yesterday and fully expected to look over and see this:

but I didn't. It was kind of depressing actually, cause it was a really good one and only the animals (and me) were here to smell it.

Which led me to thinking about smelly farts. One of my favorite things of all time is laying in bed late at night with Boi when I have smelly ones. *evil grin* I like to let them silently and let them fester under the covers for a few minutes before I lift the covers quickly and throw them up over Boi's face. I love to hear him gag for clean air.

I drew you a picture of him after he comes out from under the covers:

The really sad part of all this is that I pre-planned this post. As you know because these pictures were already drawn.

So I leave you with a bit of advice today:

You should really get to know a person really well before you marry them.

Spiders...again.

I recently told you guys about my aversion to spiders (see post spiders + me = not a happy me). I have a brand new spider story for y’all.

So Gabe’s husband answered her phone the other day when I called her. As he was giving me a hard time (always), he asked if he could borrow a tv series. I told him that of course he could and went to get it out of our movie closet (Seriously. We have shelves of movies in a closet).

Please note that I am more afraid of spiders when I have no shoes on. Why? Are you really asking me for a rational explanation? You read my blog, you should know better.

I was jabbering away, blissfully unaware of what awaited me. *Cue dramatic music*

As I step up to the doors to open the closet, a giant evil death machine monster stared at me out of his million beady eyes which were about 2 inches from my face. I promptly screamed while jumping ½ the room backwards and out the door at the same time (No small feat this. It was kind of like teleportation).

I ran to the kitchen and got my handy dandy spider killing juice. That stuff makes me feel powerful…until this fateful day that is. I sprayed that blood sucker for several minutes. It kept moving around and eventually went inside the closet (still on the door). This was last Thursday. I haven’t been back into our yellow room alone since. And even with someone with me, I will no longer touch the closet or go in it. Period.

Mike’s lucky I didn’t put the house up for sale. But I’m pretending that the spider crawled into a corner in that closet and died (even though no one can find his body).

Track List:
As may possible versions of Little Boxes (you know, the theme song from Weeds??) as I could find. Thanks Delana.

A concerned Boi & Genius, the 2 year old

So last night on his way to bed, The Boi played with Ed. On the floor. In the living room. As he was crouched down on the floor, he got a funny look on his face. He picked up something small from the rug.

Boi (with a very concerned, slightly confused look on his face): Beth. Honey. Why is there a burnt match in the fibers of our living room rug on our wood floor?

(don't you like the pretty picture I made you showing Boi finding the match?) :D

Me (innocently): I was researching a post...

Boi: What did you set on fire?

Me: Nothing. I just burned the matches to watch them burn. And then after the first 10 or so, I got tired of spitting on them so I started putting them in a dr. pepper can. But I did all that in the kitchen and have no idea how that one came to be on our living room rug.

Boi: *sigh* Ok.

Me: Soooo...you're okay with me burning matches in the house? Cause my mom wasn't, you know.

Boi: Yes, I'm okay with you burning matches in the house. As long as you don't set anything on fire other than candles. And I'm not a spaz like your mom.

Me: Okay but what if I need to light the grill or incense or something? Or a paper plate?

Boi: Why would you need to set a paper plate on fire?

Me: Well, if I was trying to burn an old checkbook and needed something to sit it on or something. By the way, I don't know if you know this or not, but...if you are trying to burn an old checkbook (which is actually really hard) that you've doused in lighter fluid and then sprayed down with hair spray...and the little ashes start flying around, it's not a good idea to put the burning checkbook in a zip lock bag. It doesn't contain the ashes...it actually melts. I discovered that all by myself.

Boi: *really big sigh and shakes head* Honey, please don't burn our house down.

Me: I won't! I was not even in the house. I was on the back porch. *giggle* (yes, I do realize how bad this conversation sounds on my part)

Boi: I love you and am going to bed now.

Me: Soooo...do you care if I put in my post that you think my mom is a spaz?

Boi: No sweetheart, I don't mind.

Me: Okay. I love you too. G'night.

I don't know why I shared all that. It just struck me funny last night, and I thought y'all might enjoy poor Boi's plight. He has to live with me, you know.

I know that today's post is kind of random, but I'm having trouble focusing today.
I spent several hours yesterday with Gabe. She thinks it's very funny that I asked her if I could use her real name in my blog but didn't ask if I could call her my pyrospouse. I told her that I made that name up just for her, and she was okay with it. I think.

I'd like to forewarn everyone who knows me that any adventures we may have together are totally fair game to go into my posts.

I think Gabe's 2 year old (we're going to name him 'Genius' in this post) has a much better memory than I do. Last night, he wanted two things: a piece of gum and a laser pointer. His mother didn't think he needed to be playing with either of those things so she put them just out of reach on her desk. We proceeded to talk for probably two hours. I had long ago forgotten the two items Genius wanted.

As I was getting ready to leave, I realized that I didn't know where Genius was. Want to know where I found him? Yup, you're right. I found him hidden in a corner with a piece of gum in his mouth and a laser pointer in his hand.

Track List:

Juno soundtrack

Steve's Theme - Aaron Zigman

No One - Aly & AJ

Fly Me Away - Annie Little

Moon River - Audrey Hepburn

Tiny Dancer - Ben Folds

Gabe: My Pyrospouse

I just spent an hour trying to find a word that describes Gabe. I can’t find one. So I made one up.
Pyrospouse – Close friend that’s always there to get into trouble with you. This friend never blame-shifts and will sometimes go so far as to take on all the blame. This friend knows you better than you know yourself and is always there to help [you explode things].
My next story with Gabe needs to contain a disclaimer and warning.

WARNING: Do not try this anywhere with anything. We are not professionals or safe. We could have possibly died or worse.

DISCLAIMER: Any idiot that tries this themselves has been forewarned of the danger and has proceeded at their own risk. They were stupid, and this is not my fault.

One day (after the eyeball incident), Gabe came over to my house to play. She brought a brand new box of matches. Why? I don’t know. I don't think it had anything to do with my mentioned love of fire or obsession with watching a match burn almost all the way to my finger before extinguishing its glorious blaze. I probably hadn’t mentioned to her that I wasn’t allowed to even look at matches from age 8-22 because I had been found keeping a box in my bathroom (at age 8) that I used to burn individual matches just to watch them burn.
*side note* MOM: I promise that I was always (minus that one time) careful by running each individual match under a stream of water before throwing it away. As for that one time, I had no idea that a paper plate would burn so fast.

We started with just burning matches and then extinguishing them under running water. Then we burned them and put them out in a shot glass of water (made very nice sizzling sounds).

I asked Gabe if she had ever burned dry coffee creamer. She said she had not. So I put a pile on a paper plate in the kitchen sink and threw a match on it. It didn’t work the way I wanted it to (always before I had thrown it into a fire but that didn’t seem like a great idea in my house). So I built a tee pee of matchsticks on the creamer and used a lit match to set them all on fire. A little bit of spark but still not what I wanted. So I lit the paper plate on fire. Presto! Close enough.

Somehow though, this still wasn’t enough for us. I’m not sure of the exact steps or how we came up with this (I know there were more small things in between) but…here goes. We placed an empty paper towel roll ever so slightly in the garbage disposal drain (just enough to keep it steady). I quickly sprayed a TON of hairspray directly into the top opening of the roll and jumped back.

Fast like lightening Gabe lit and threw a match in the hole. BOOM! Very exciting for two pyros.

We repeated this for quite a while. Eventually I ran out of empty paper towel rolls and had to use empty toilet paper rolls. They just weren’t the same…

So The Boi came home (heehee…you see where this is going). Bad for Boi. Gabe and I lured him unsuspectingly into the kitchen. We set up out get up (using the last mainly unmangled paper towel tube) using our bodies as human shields against what we were doing. Spray, jump back, light match, throw, jump back, BOOM! Poor Boi never had a chance. He jumped 3 feet back and about 4 in the air. He swears to this day he pulled something.

We are still missing 1 match. It disappeared completely. Everything else was accounted for (we were actually pretty careful believe it or not). We’ve looked high and low but to no avail. There are little tiny pieces of burnt matches on the ceiling over my sink to this day though. Ah, I love my pyrospouse.

My Bosom Friend: Gabe

My best friend’s name is Gabe. She gave me verbal permission to use her real first name on my blog which excited me greatly for some unknown reason. (*side note* If you don’t know what a ‘bosom friend’ is, you haven’t lived life. Please read the ‘Anne of Green Gables’ series or at least watch the 1st movie). Gabe is a girl (just so there’s no confusion); especially since my nephew’s name is also Gabe. It can get very confusing to have two of the most special people in my life have the same name. So I refer to BFF Gabe as ‘Gabe’ and nephew Gabe as ‘Baby Gabe’. I suppose this will work until 15 or 16 years from now and ‘Baby Gabe’ is not so baby anymore. That’s okay because I’ve bought myself some time.

Gabe and I have had some awesome adventures together so far. One such venture happened on 10/12/2009 at just before 9:58pm. I wish I was awesome enough to recall that information on my own; however, I am not. The picture I took with my camera was sweet enough to document that information on the picture for my failing brain’s memory. I’m complete off subject.

So on this perfect evening, Gabe and I had gone shopping and bought these wonderful little sticky eyeballs.

I found this picture of similar, possibly the same eyeballs on: http://www.amazon.com/US-Toy-Sticky-Eyeballs/dp/B000X61SYI

We intended to give them out at work for Halloween but that didn’t work out so much. They made it as far as my house. I opened one to play with, and it was on. I looked at Gabe and the following conversation took place (to the best of my failing memory):

Me: If I throw one up on the ceiling, do you think it would come back down?

Gabe: Eventually.

The Boi: (pauses his video game to look at me pointedly) NO.

Me: How eventually? Like tonight or tomorrow?

Gabe: At the very latest, it might be a few days…could leave oil spots though.

The Boi: (his face is a lovely shade of red) NO.

So I started it. Gabe and I proceeded to throw the entire 30 (or so) count bag onto my ceiling. They didn’t come back down. Not on their own anyway. I’d like to add that Sid talked to the eyeballs. I think they freaked him out a little. He would run through the living room while looking at the ceiling and growl/talk. Four months later, a friend graciously brought over some scaffolding and plucked them all down. He was even so nice as to paint…my entire vaulted living room ceiling. The Boi never said a word. Although he did give me several pointed, disgusted, and/or angry looks over those 4 months; especially during Christmastime when eyeballs on the ceiling are just weird.

PS- my friend that got them down threw a lot of them on my floor. I’m still finding those suckers. In fact, I found 2 this past Friday while steaming my living room floor.

Pictures I made 4 U.

I didn't have time to make a good post today so I'm giving you some pictures instead:

ps - clicking on the individual pictures will make it bigger and you can see details better. Please remember this for all future posts :) I'd hate to keep repeating this for no reason.


'Bowler Hat Guy'

and this one:

'Self Portrait'

and lastly this one:

'Troubled Waters'

Hope y'all enjoy them. If not, sorry. I had fun making them. Tomorrow's post will have lots more words; I promise.

Sid's Stupidity

I'm reminded daily that there is, in fact, something wrong with my cat Sid. He runs into things (even walls) going full blast. I could attribute that to the fact that his eyesight is (to put it nicely) on par with a legally blind cross-eyed person. I tried to find a good picture to illustrate this point but this is all I could find (it's hard to get a cross-eyed cat to try to focus on a camera):

He constantly does strange things such as randomly lick my furniture and runs from one end of the house to the other making strange gargling noises. Most of the time he sleeps like this:

He can turn door handles (no joke) almost to the point of opening them which maybe could be a smart thing...except who knows why he wants to open them? Lots of times I wake up to this (full frontal cat nudity advisory):

This post was inspired by Sid's TSRA (Today's Stupid Random Act). I was sitting at my computer happily (I call myself bs on this on) paying bills when I see Kuszco trying to get behind the refrigerator. I got up and moved him away from the hole there. This hole is usually covered by the coffee maker but for whatever reason the coffee pot was far from the hole-of-doom.

I went and sat back down and heard a very distinctive faint 'Mrow'. Nice. I now realize that Kuszo was just investiging what mess Sid had gotten himself into. After I stopped laughing, I grabbed my camera to video this cause I felt this needed to be shared. I tried to upload the video on here but it keeps failing. I'm illin about that (just spent the last 3 & 1/2 hours trying to get it to load) so I'm just going to put it up on facebook.

Then I drew you a picture of how he looked as he jumped out:

Now he's scott free and hiding somewhere in shame. Seriously, I haven't seen him since.
I promise that not all of my posts will be about my animals but sometimes they do really stupid things that need to be shared.

I wanted to say love to all of you who are reading this (especially whoever is in Canada!). I appreciate y'all reading my ramblings more than you know.  Also, comments are greatly appreciated. That way I know if you guys think what I'm writing is coolio and more awesome than the discovery that the earth was not flat or if it blows and I should mock myself while locked up in a loony bin. If you choose to comment anonymously, please put your name at the end so I don't spend hours guessing who you are - thanks :D

Track list:

Nichole Nordeman - What If

Nichole Nordeman - Gratitude

Nickel Creek - The Lighthouse Tale

                    - Reasons Why

                    - When You Come Back Down
                    - Should've Known Better

Spiders +me = not a happy me

One time when I was about 11 years old, my mom found a large spider on our front stoop. She went and got her hair spray (cause you have to paralize the sucker before you step on him with that final blow). I stood back to watch; waaaay back cause that sucker was HUGE (remember that spider phobia a few posts back?).
My brave mother calmly (by calm I mean shreaking and jumping around) used the entire can of hairspray to subdue the viscious evil spawn of Lucifer. When the cloud of spray settles, I could see the shrivled spider's still monumental size. I was panic driven and helped my mother stay calm but jumping up and down screaming, "GETITGETITKILLITQUICKOMGWE'REALLGONNADIE!!!!!!!!!!"
Mom couragiously lifted her right foot (in a nice large boot, I might add) and brought it down with all her might.   *SQUUUIIISH*
Now mom is screaming for more hairspray. Huh? What's going on? Things went perfectly as planned. We've done this many times. WHAT WENT WRONG?!?!?!?
I ran for the spray and sprinted it to my mom. What I found was chaos and anarchy. The spider was bohemoth because it had been pregnant. Babies were everywhere. Many were running into our house. Unacceptable. Time to put my war face on. I ran and got my own hairspray and headed to the was zone.
Mom and I sprayed and tracked down every single spawn and squished them to oblivion.
It only took maybe an hour. That was on my top 10 scarieset moments ever. Because if any of those spiders had lived, we would have had to move and that would have made me very sad.

After typing that up, it remembered another story about spiders that you guys might find amusing.

When I turned 18 and started college, I started coming home late. And then later, and later...you get the point. It was really frustrating my dad so I made a deal with him. I could live in the playhouse and pay him $50 a month. It had cable, internet, heat and air, and a locking door; what more could you ask for? (A shower/bathroom but that's a later story). Long story short, he agreed. The problem with the playhouse is that it had spiders. They weren't there because it was unplayed in. You could kill every spider in there and two hourse later there would be at least 3 more.
So I kept a can of spider kill just outside the door. Each night I would carefully open the door (sometimes the little creeps would choose that exact moment to slide down a single strand of web to hang just at my eye level waiting to kill me with his venom-o-doom) and spray. Up, down, left...I sneak in a peek and would give the room a quick once over. Having noted all the spider locations, I would jump into the room and spray them all to death. 
I remember one particular time when the door spider almost got me (but I won; haha!) and I had sprayed all the enemy successfully when BAM! there was one that jumped from the ceiling (where he'd been hiding like a ninja) into my hair. There was lots of screaming and then I ran to my parents house to take a shower. Needless to say, I only lived in the playhouse for about 4 months.

I suppose my moral of all this is that the next spider you find, you should hairspray that sucker stiff and then set it on fire.

Beth's cooking tips

I'm having EBS (empty brain syndrome) today. So I'm going to post some cooking tips that I've been compiling for you. I am not a professional cook. I probably shouldn't be allowed to touch anything in a kitchen but The Boi and I have to eat so...
ps-I was gonna draw you pretty pictures to illustrate my cooking but I have no patience today. Sorry.

What to do when you are cooking chili and forget about it so the bottom layer burns to a char:

Quickly move the pot off the heat. Grab another pot. Gently pour the chili into the new pot while being careful not to let any of the charred bottom layer get into the new pot. Set new pot on the burner and don’t forget about it this time. To avoid having anyone know your shame, scrape the char out of the pot and feed it to the dog. Clean the pot and put it away. Open windows to clear the smell. Voila. Evidence destroyed and dinner saved!


What to do when you forget and leave a frozen pizza in the oven until it’s burned into a black Frisbee:

Get the ‘pizza’ out of the oven and place on a plate to cool. Put a new frozen pizza in the oven and start over. When original ‘pizza’ is cool, take into the back yard and throw as a Frisbee for the dog. This will make the dog doubly happy as he will now have a new toy AND treat.


Quick and Easy Dessert for poor person:

If you are out of almost all your groceries and want a tasty desert, Kool-aid premade drink mix (another words, the kind that’s already got sugar in it) or tang powder are very tasty treats. Just lick and dip your finger in the powder and insert your powdered finger in your mouth. Voila, instant easy desert.
*note* I read that last one to Boi and he said “Is that why there’s clumps in the Tang? Is that your residual spit droppings?” I replied, “It’s entirely possible,” and hung my head in shame.


Tip: Any pot that has been on a burner that is ‘on’ for any reasonable amount of time is hot. Hot enough to burn you. Don’t touch out of curiosity. This will end in tears…and cool looking burns that are shiny.

Tip#2: Sizzling sounds on a burner usually indicate that something is boiling over. Please check on this sound immediately upon hearing it.

Those are my tips so far. I will continue to collect important kitchen tips as I discover them :D

Guidelines to surviving the Apocalypse

The first and most important thing to do is establish rules for the team that you end up with. Below are 10 great general rules. *Note* To make the pictures larger, you can click on them individually.

Rule #1 Go ahead and kill all people in the group that you don't know like the back of your hand. They will only turn out to be a liability later on if you don't. Take that back; kill everyone except for doctors or other medical professionals. They always turn out to be at least somewhat useful. I know you love your family, but if they look even remotely affected by _________ (insert apocalypse cause - such as zombies, disease, or bio-chemicals), go ahead and put them out of their possible future misery.

Rule #2 Never separate the team. It may seem like a good idea at some points (especially while gathering supplies) but I promise that this never ends well and always ends up with useless deaths on your hands.

Rule #3 If it is unavoidable and you have to separate, always follow the leader's rule. If he/she says to stay in one place, do it. Deny your inner urging to check dark areas or around corners. Please be calm and collected as exploring the area is never a good idea. Stay still until the team is back together.

Rule #4 Never ever get naked. I know that stressful situations always make people want to have sex or take a shower. Resist the urge. Bad idea. The end result will be dead naked people.

Rule #5 Find a place such as a supermarket, Sam’s club, or mall. These places will have all of the things that you need to survive. The ideal location would be a Walmart.

Rule #6 Quickly grab as many supplies as possible and start moving them to the roof. Best supplies to stock up on are WEAPONS especially things that create a lot of fire. Also canned food items and LOTS of water. Tents and other camping gear is also a plus.

Rule #7 As soon as possible, secure the roof so that no one else can follow. Cementing the door shut seems like a fantastic idea to me.

Rule #8 Sit back and relax. Don't get all heroic...or bored and start wasting ammo. This also is a bad idea. You will definitely need that ammo later on. Why? I don't know but something will happen like people wanting your awesome rooftop apocalypse hideout for themselves. They may make human ladders to try to get to your roof. As long as you haven't wasted your weapons, you will be able to mow them down with flame throwers or even homemade grenades. :D

Rule #9 Resist the (you think) good idea to leave your hideout even if you haven't seen live people for a month. The best thing to do after a month is not to leave your awesome complex of sanity. If you must leave your rooftop, the only place you should be going is into the store to restock supplies. This is one of those times where not have wasting your ammo may come in handy. Who knows what is hiding in the store below. Quickly restock and reseal the door.

Rule #10 Quiz any possible rescuers at length before trusting them. I can't give you specifics as I don't know exactly what the apocalypse will consist of. Please try to use your best judgment. I know this will be hard. The best thing I can suggest is to play 20 questions. Everything can be solved with 20 questions. Also, odds are that if your rescuer lands a helicopter on your roof, they are okay to trust.

 There you have it. If you don't survive using these rules, I can not be held legally responsible. Not like you'd be able to get on my rooftop anyway...*evil laugh*

Animulz

I don't have a lot of time today (unfortunately) but I promise to make it up to you guys tomorrow ;)

So I thought that today I would introduce y'all to my animulz. I have 3. One dog named Ed and two cats, Sid and Kuzco. The Boi and I name our animulz after cartoon characters. Ed is from the hyena in The Lion King, Sid is from Sid the Sloth in Ice Age, and Kuzco is from the emperor in The Emperor's New Groove (one of our favorite movies of all time). I have made a descriptive picture for each of the animulz:

This is Ed. One of our neighbor's found him under her porch and went door to door searching for the owner. I offered to keep him for the weekend while she put up fliers. No one claimed him. Here we are almost two years later.

This is Sid. I saved him from a flee market. He and his cousin (Morgan) were in a cage with a dog. The dog was trying to eat Morgan. I told the flea market man that he should put the dog and cats in different cages because the dog was trying to eat the cats. He wouldn't listen. So I asked him, "How much for the cat (Morgan)?" He said $25 each. I asked would he take $30 for both. He said yes. I sold Morgan to my dad for $50. So I got Sid for free + $20 profit.

This is Kuzco. He is our latest acquirement. I think the picture is self-explanatory. He came from the pound.

I hope you like my picture because I worked really hard on them. Especially Kuzco. It was very hard to make him accurate looking.

Tomorrow's post "10 rules to surviving the Apocalypse". Finally. I swear.