Guidelines to surviving the Apocalypse

The first and most important thing to do is establish rules for the team that you end up with. Below are 10 great general rules. *Note* To make the pictures larger, you can click on them individually.

Rule #1 Go ahead and kill all people in the group that you don't know like the back of your hand. They will only turn out to be a liability later on if you don't. Take that back; kill everyone except for doctors or other medical professionals. They always turn out to be at least somewhat useful. I know you love your family, but if they look even remotely affected by _________ (insert apocalypse cause - such as zombies, disease, or bio-chemicals), go ahead and put them out of their possible future misery.

Rule #2 Never separate the team. It may seem like a good idea at some points (especially while gathering supplies) but I promise that this never ends well and always ends up with useless deaths on your hands.

Rule #3 If it is unavoidable and you have to separate, always follow the leader's rule. If he/she says to stay in one place, do it. Deny your inner urging to check dark areas or around corners. Please be calm and collected as exploring the area is never a good idea. Stay still until the team is back together.

Rule #4 Never ever get naked. I know that stressful situations always make people want to have sex or take a shower. Resist the urge. Bad idea. The end result will be dead naked people.

Rule #5 Find a place such as a supermarket, Sam’s club, or mall. These places will have all of the things that you need to survive. The ideal location would be a Walmart.

Rule #6 Quickly grab as many supplies as possible and start moving them to the roof. Best supplies to stock up on are WEAPONS especially things that create a lot of fire. Also canned food items and LOTS of water. Tents and other camping gear is also a plus.

Rule #7 As soon as possible, secure the roof so that no one else can follow. Cementing the door shut seems like a fantastic idea to me.

Rule #8 Sit back and relax. Don't get all heroic...or bored and start wasting ammo. This also is a bad idea. You will definitely need that ammo later on. Why? I don't know but something will happen like people wanting your awesome rooftop apocalypse hideout for themselves. They may make human ladders to try to get to your roof. As long as you haven't wasted your weapons, you will be able to mow them down with flame throwers or even homemade grenades. :D

Rule #9 Resist the (you think) good idea to leave your hideout even if you haven't seen live people for a month. The best thing to do after a month is not to leave your awesome complex of sanity. If you must leave your rooftop, the only place you should be going is into the store to restock supplies. This is one of those times where not have wasting your ammo may come in handy. Who knows what is hiding in the store below. Quickly restock and reseal the door.

Rule #10 Quiz any possible rescuers at length before trusting them. I can't give you specifics as I don't know exactly what the apocalypse will consist of. Please try to use your best judgment. I know this will be hard. The best thing I can suggest is to play 20 questions. Everything can be solved with 20 questions. Also, odds are that if your rescuer lands a helicopter on your roof, they are okay to trust.

 There you have it. If you don't survive using these rules, I can not be held legally responsible. Not like you'd be able to get on my rooftop anyway...*evil laugh*