Thank God for autosave.

Animals really freak me out when they just stare at me. I'm sure that they are trying to send me messages via their minds but I am just a lowly human and am not telepathic like they are. So I'll never know how sorry Ed was for strewing trash about my house...again.
I would have drawn you pretty pictures so you could see Ed staring me down but my drawing program is not playing nice with me today. In fact, it has it out for me and is trying to blow up my computer from the inside because it hates my drawings. Again, I would draw you a picture but alas, not happening today. I was so mad about that, for awhile today, I wasn't going to write a post at all. But then I got to thinking that...

Right here. Yep. This is when I accidentally hit the back button. Twice. So if not for autosave, you guys wouldn't be able to read the beginning of this post.

Now that I've established that I'm going to actually write a post today, let's continue.
I drew a few pictures in anticipation of today's post so I'll still be able to add those. Let me stop you at this point and let you know that my mother has told me not to write the following. Also, if you don't find poop and tooting funny, please stop reading now.

I'm giving you a chance to change your mind.

You've been warned.

Okay. Now that we've established that you do indeed want to continue, you can't blame me.

When I was young, my mom and I used to tell each other, "I love you more than...[fill in the blank]." For example, "I love you more than the whole universe."

I've continued this in my adult life by telling my husband things like, "I love you more than all the fish in the sea" or "I love you more than every other person alive or dead." You get the point. I have set the stage.

The other day, The Boi and I were laying in bed. I had on my little reading light so the lighting was very dim. I rolled over to face him and said, "Boi, I love you more than that turd that wraps all the way around the toilet."

Sorry the picture didn't get finished. Dumb computer program. It was going to be quite the masterpiece. Oh well.

His face was priceless. He opened his mouth and closed it a few times. Then he said, "Um....thanks?"

Then, of course, I felt like I needed to defend my claim.

Me: You know how impressive those suckers can be. I mean, really! You know cause sometimes I call you to make you look...(his face is telling me that he's not getting how awesome this profession of my love is)...oh, com'on boi! That has only happened to me, like, twice in my WHOLE LIFE! This is a lot of love. I'm just sayin.

Boi: *unconvinced face* Ok. I believe you. I love you too.

We both left the conversation at that. I still don't think that he understands how much love I was trying to convey, but whatever.

I think poop is funny. I think breaking wind is also funny. Especially when it comes from me and smells really bad.

I tooted yesterday and fully expected to look over and see this:

but I didn't. It was kind of depressing actually, cause it was a really good one and only the animals (and me) were here to smell it.

Which led me to thinking about smelly farts. One of my favorite things of all time is laying in bed late at night with Boi when I have smelly ones. *evil grin* I like to let them silently and let them fester under the covers for a few minutes before I lift the covers quickly and throw them up over Boi's face. I love to hear him gag for clean air.

I drew you a picture of him after he comes out from under the covers:

The really sad part of all this is that I pre-planned this post. As you know because these pictures were already drawn.

So I leave you with a bit of advice today:

You should really get to know a person really well before you marry them.