Camping with my family

I've been thinking about going camping. Every time I think about camping, it brings one particular camping trip to the forefront of my mind...

A few years ago, I had the bright idea to drag Boi and myself along camping with my parents and brother. They were headed up to Springmaid Mountain (in NC) for a weekend getaway. Sounded like a fantastic idea at the time. Looking back, not so much.
The trip had a great, early start. Mike and I followed my parent's jeep in our own car. I'm a fast learner; always have your car with you in case you need a getaway car. We wound our way to the mountain over a few hours, having to stop occasionally so that dad could add oil to his steadily leaking jeep. Going up hills took forever because the jeep slowed to a crawl. Thankfully, it made it to the campsite.

It had been rainy in the camping area with big muddle puddles all over the place. We quickly set up the tent and chairs and got a fire going. Dad made a weird awning that we could sit under to keep us dry from the random rain that kept popping up.

All this so far is fairly normal and fun (even the oil drinking jeep). But now, this is where the real party started. We spent the rest of that afternoon close to the campsite, simply enjoying each others' company. Darkness fell, and we all got in the tent to settle down for the night.
I've drawn you a diagram to try to describe how cramped this tent was, but it really doesn't do any justice to how little room the people on the air mattress had.

Yes, we had an electric heater in the middle of the tent. My dad and his cot took up almost half of the 6-man tent alone. The cot my brother slept on actually had part of it underneath dad's cot. This left roughly 1/4 of a 6-man tent for 3 people on 1 twin size air mattress. Mom got the worst deal of the night as she got to sleep the farthest away from the heater. It was one of those bitter cold nights where you can't feel your extremities.

Even still, the trip so far wasn't too bad. We had scavenged around and found plenty of wood for our fire (like it would ever go out with me there anyway!). All was well.

Day two was full of fun. At least I'm pretty sure it was. I don't actually remember much about the actual day. Late in the afternoon, we decided to take showers in the shower house. That was FULL of spiders. I made my mom take a shower in one with me so we could watch each other's body to make sure no spiders got on them. The water was freezing cold and I will never forget that deathcave of spiders.

Still, not a bad trip...til dad decided to make us dinner. My dad is usually a fantastic cook. But by lantern light, in the freezing cold night, he apparently couldn't see to make sure his cast iron skillet fried chicken was cooked thoroughly. This is where the trip started to go downhill. I took two bites of chicken and didn't think it tasted done, so I covertly tossed mine in nearby bushes. Unfortunately for them, dad and Boi ates lots of chicken.

Soon we were again ready to settle in for the night. Sleeping arrangements changed slightly to be like:

I don't remember the order of the following 3 events, but it doesn't really matter. I'm going to tell it as I remember it.
Sometime late in the night, I woke to hear my dad urgently whispering to my mom, "Help HELP! Please help me get my shoes. I can't move...oh faster FASTER! Can you put them on me? I'm afraid if I try, I'll unclench and crap on myself." I swear you could hear his stomach. Bless my mother. She put on his shoes and unzipped the tent for him so he could dash to the bathrooms. A while later, he came back looking much better and back to sleep I went.

I came awake some while later with my brother's face right up on mine. He was whispering, "Can't breathe. Can't breathe. Can't breathe." rapidly over and over and over. Then he started chanting it faster and faster and louder and louder, "CAN'T BREATHE! CAN'T BREATHE!!!" He was completely asleep having (I guess) a claustrophobic nightmare. I finally lost my patience and yelled, "I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU NOT ABLE TO BREATHE!!!!!!!!! SHUT. UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" His eyes opened, and he looked at me like I'd lost my mind. Again, though, things settled down and I fell back asleep.

Boi woke me up a while after and quietly asked if I would go with him to the bathroom because he was going to be sick. I said sure and we both put on shoes and stepped out of the tent. Oh. My. God. It had to be negative twenty degrees Fahrenheit outside. I followed him about 15 shivering paces before he started puking. Then I backed up 5 and turned back, facing the tent. I put my fingers in my ears and hummed to myself. I can't hear someone being sick or I will too. Boi kept asking me if I was there, and I would assure him that I was, "Right beside you." Yes, I'm a horrible person. I also started breathing through my mouth so I wouldn't smell it. Yuck.

We walked back to the tent and shivered our way back to slumber. Yet again, Boi woke me up, pleading for me to go with him while he was sick. He threw on his shoes and went out of the tent a few paces to be sick. Still under the blankets, I unzipped the tent enough to put only my head out and then zipped my head in the door so only my face was freezing off. I assured Boi I was right there with him the whole time.

After this episode, I crashed. Completely. I know there was at least one more opening of the tent (because of the next part of my story) but don't know when it happened.

I awoke the next morning to my dad's laughter. At some point during the night, he hadn't been able to make it all the way to the bathroom so he doodied in the nearby woods. A girl was walking with her dogs who decided to investigate the stinky pile. Dad happened to be watching from our campsite and was now laughing at the poor girl's facial expression when she discovered what the dogs were sniffing.

Boi headed to the bathroom and came back with a funny expression on his face. He walked up to my dad and asked him, "How did you get it on the walls!?" My dad's laughter rand loud and clear through the crisp morning air. Boi came to me with a look of disbelief and explained that my dad went to the bathroom everywhere. He said it was even on the ceiling. Dad never did really explain.
Later that morning, we packed up our stuff and headed home. I haven't been camping with my family since.