Near Death Shower Experience

Again. Here I go lapsing. I'm trying. I really am. I'm spending a lot of time trying to perfect one particular post. In doing so, I have forgotten to post anything...okay that's a total lie. I didn't forget. I've just spent so much time on this future post (about The Tribe - for those of you who know me...those who don't, well, that's why I'm writing a post about it. I promise you'll see and understand soon) that by the time I'm done each day, I don't want to write anymore. I'm a loser. And I suck. Sorry. I'll do better. Probably. Maybe. Not likely.

Today I want to tell you all about how I almost died in the shower last weekend (10/8/10).  I was in a wedding last weekend and stayed in someone else's home.  I got all of my things ready and headed to the bathroom.
The shower was easy to turn on which made me really happy. I hate when I go places and feel stupid because I can't figure out how to turn on the shower...or how to make the water a good tempature. I end up with either 3rd degree burns and boil-like blisters or have things fall off from hypothermia. I digress; back to my near death experience.

So here I was, happily puttering away when disaster struck. I turned sideways in the shower, facing the wall and opened my eyes. There, two inches from my face, was a Pterodactyl-O-Doom. This bug was bigger than my entire hand (fingers and palm included).
Terrified, I flew out of the shower, slinging water all over the place. Some later said that they could hear me squeal downstairs (the bathroom was upstairs). I stood there, dripping wet, soap in my hair, begining to shiver a little (from the cold or fear, who knows?). For a full 5 minutes or so, I debated with myself. Do I call down to Mike to come and save me? Do I really want to listen to ridiqule for the rest of the weekend for that? Can I kill it on my own?

I decided to take action. I am an adult and could totally kill this bug on my own. No help needed. So I carefully pulled the curtain back as little as possible and peered inside the shower (which is still running, I might add). The bug is no longer where it was. I now realize that I'm trapped in a bathroom with a bug in an unknown location. This is unacceptable.

I won't really own up to it if you ask me later, but I'm pretty sure I was crying at this point. I really wanted to kill it now. So I gathered what little courage I own and pulled the curtain further open. THERE! Down by a soap dish at the back of the shower. That's where the sucker had landed. So I quickly came up with an ingenious plan. Using the shower head, I aimed the spray of water at the killer bug. It struggled momentarily but the force was too strong. It's grasp slipped, and it began to go with the flow of water to the drain.

When it got to the actual drain, it caught itself and held on for dear life. I aimed the water with precision and held my ground. I watched on gleefully while it slowly drowned and let go of the drain, sliding harmlessly away. SUCCESS!

I felt on top of the world. I was a conquerer of evil. Winner of doomed situations. Master of all things. I hopped back into the shower (never going near the drain) and finished up. I carefully sopped up all the water - there was a lot of water everywhere - leaving no evidence of the epic battle that had ensued.

Boi has tried repeatedly to explain that it (from my description) was a mosquito hawk (aka crane fly) that couldn't hurt me at all. All research I've done since the episode confirms Boi's beliefs.
Contrary to all evidence, I still believe that I totally could have died and am proud of myself for conquering a mighty being.


Picture from:
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://readjack.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/cranefly-hand.jpg&imgrefurl=http://readjack.wordpress.com/category/chicago-sports/da-bulls/&usg=__MX_aAVZ5VjL6_hQkgp8ZGzUnt4I=&h=1107&w=1125&sz=238&hl=en&start=17&sig2=A6EHSEBmk-txXRLPefrVFA&zoom=1&tbnid=zhlNcLM7wHvxKM:&tbnh=143&tbnw=145&ei=pending&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmosquito%2Bhawk%2Bcrane%2Bfly%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rls%3Dcom.microsoft:en-us%26rlz%3D1I7SKPB_en%26biw%3D1209%26bih%3D610%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C496&um=1&itbs=1&biw=1209&bih=610&iact=rc&dur=95&oei=LZ-8TNa9H8T_lgfKzdzEDA&esq=2&page=2&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:3,s:17&tx=106&ty=71